Nov. 16, 2023 - Rewrite the stories you tell yourself

Rewrite the stories you tell yourself… and lead a more intentional life and career!

A big part of my new career is about conversations in which clients take center stage, telling their stories to their audience (me)…

And this gave me the idea for this article – a different type of article to those I wrote in the last few years…

And I’m curious to see what you think of it!

Let’s start with a few quotes

About the stories we tell ourselves:

“The stories we tell ourselves provide an insight into our subconscious minds: our fears, desires and ambitions. When we reflect on these stories, we can learn more about ourselves – what our values are, what we view as meaningful and important – Arielle Domb

About the power of storytelling:

The power of storytelling: “If done well and done correctly, the power of a great story can have a massive effect on the audience and define you as an influencer. It can inspire, enliven and create instant rapport. It can move an audience to take action and it can change lives” – Tony Robbins

About the power of images:

A picture is worth a thousand words- Attributed to Frederick R. Barnard

What if…

What if we combine these 3 quotes?

What if we combine the power of “images” with the power of “storytelling”?

What if we use metaphors (not just images) to storytell our life:

How we perceive our life until now, and how we introduce it to others, but also how we imagine our life in the future, and how we talk about it? And
Compared that life (or a period, or even just an event) to natural events, human-made creations, sounds, smell, taste, touch, feelings, past events – whatever else comes to our mind?

How could such a combination impact how we perceive ourselves?

Achievements vs feeling less than;
Success vs failure;
Self-leadership vs following directions set by others / society;
And more!

Note: It looks like “storytell” is not (yet) an actual word… but since we’re familiar with “storytelling”, why not make it one (if only for this article)!

Why do that?

Well, as Brene Brown said:

The most difficult part of our stories is often what we bring to them - what we make up about who we are and how we are perceived by others. Yes, maybe we lost our job or screwed up a project, but what makes that story so painful is what we tell ourselves about our own self-worth and value. - Brene Brown

So, I’m asking you:

How do you feel when you describe your life using words, images, or metaphors like:

Falling, sinking, hitting a brick wall, being stuck between a rock and a hard place;
Traveling on a rocky road, going around in circles, being in the fog;
Being in the passenger’s seat, climbing the wrong career ladder;
And what else?

And now, how do you feel when you describe your life using these words, images, or metaphors instead?

Jumping over, swimming, opening a door, slaloming between obstacles;
Following your own path, having a lightbulb moment, having a vision;
Being in the driver’s seat, following a non-linear career path;
And what else?

I expect that you feel a lot better about yourself, your achievements, and your life – which means more self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth – using the words, images, and metaphors from the second option above…

Because,

Symbols give us our identity, our self-image, and our way of explaining ourselves to ourselves and others. Symbols in turn determine the kinds of stories we tell, and the stories we tell determine the kind of history we make and remake. - Mary Robinson

Let's start by looking at your past

And now, why not take a few minutes to reflect on the metaphors you’re using when you think about your life until now, when you speak about yourself with others?

How do you feel about these metaphors (positive / negative)?
For the negative ones, what metaphors could you use instead - to make your story more attractive to yourself, to give you more appreciation and confidence about what you've achieved to date? You may need to try a few, and practice a "little"…
Do you feel differently? Like a little shift in your mindset, in how you perceive yourself?
What can you do to “integrate” these new metaphors in your brain, so they’re with you all the time – instead of the negative ones…

You may want to repeat this exercise a few times, when you’re in the right mindset, when you’re in the mood for playing around with the infinite world of metaphors!

And now, looking at your future

Once more, why not take a few minutes to reflect on the metaphors you’re using when you think about your future, the direction you’re setting for yourself, the path to follow… and how you tell other people about it?

How do you feel about these metaphors (positive / negative)?
For the negative ones, what metaphors could you use instead - to make your future story more attractive to you, to build up your confidence in achieving it – despite the obstacles that will surely show up along the way?
Do you feel differently about your future, about how to move forward on your own terms?
What can you do to “integrate” these new metaphors in your brain, so they’re with you all the time – instead of the negative ones…

Again, you may want to repeat this exercise a few times, when you’re in the right mindset, when you’re in the mood for playing around with the world of metaphors!

And remember this:

In this universe, and this existence, where we live with this duality of whether we exist or not and who are we, the stories we tell ourselves are the stories that define the potentialities of our existence. We are the stories we tell ourselves. - Shekhar Kapur

So, what are you waiting for…

… To empower yourself to take one small step toward (more) control over how you view your life (past and future)?

… To start designing, building, and then leading your life and career more intentionally?

… To develop the “vessel” you need to make this metaphor a reality (based on your circumstances at that time)?

Please keep in mind these two quotes:

Our lives follow the stories we tell ourselves. - Gina Greenlee

and

Stories help shape the way we see ourselves in the world. They help tell us who we can be and what we can achieve. - Nicola Yoon

Note: If you want to know more about the “vessel” metaphor, then check out my series of articles “Want to Lead your Life and Career more Intentionally?”: