Oct. 1, 2025 - The Obstacle I Didn’t Expect - and How It Changed Everything
What I learned by peeling back my own layers 🧅 - and how you can too 🚀
I had a goal that mattered deeply to me.
It wasn’t vague or fuzzy - I knew exactly what I wanted: to run more workshops at events organized by professional associations and networking organizations.
These were the spaces where I could reach the kind of people I love working with - thoughtful, committed professionals who are ready for meaningful change.
And yet… it wasn’t happening.
I thought I knew why. But when I decided to sit down and reflect, layer by layer, I found something unexpected at the core - something I’d been quietly avoiding.
My Goal and First Assumptions
When I asked myself why I wasn’t making progress, the first answers came easily:
- “People are more interested in technical skills than what I offer.”
- “There are so many other coaches out there.”
- “Others are far more interesting as speakers.”
These felt like facts - logical, irrefutable.
Pause for a moment: Think about one goal you really want to achieve. What are the first reasons you give yourself for why it hasn’t happened yet?
Peeling Back the Layers
When I looked a little deeper, I found a different set of obstacles - ones about my relationship with others:
- “Professional organizations don’t know me.”
- “I don’t have contacts in those circles.”
Those felt a little closer to the truth… but still not the whole picture.
So I kept going. And then came the uncomfortable part - the inner layers that make your eyes sting 🥲, like chopping a strong onion.
What I found there was personal:
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of public speaking - despite many years of presenting about construction projects to rooms where I was one of the few, if not the only, women 👷♀️.
- Fear of asking to be given a stage.
And then, right at the core, came the one that hit hardest:
“I don’t know how to create a workshop that’s different - and I’m afraid to put something out there that isn’t unique enough.”
It wasn’t the market, or the contacts, or even the competition.
It was me!
Your turn: If you dig past the obvious reasons, what deeper fears or doubts might be quietly steering your decisions?
From Awareness to Action
Once I had my core obstacle in front of me, I asked: What would need to happen for this to be resolved?
Some ideas were under my control, some weren’t.
I didn’t filter them - I just dumped them onto the page:
- Develop a clear workshop idea.
- Take relevant training.
- Test and refine the content.
- Get feedback from peers.
Then I chose one: develop the idea.
From there, I brainstormed what I could do to make that happen. One simple action stood out:
After this reflection, I could take 20 minutes with a coffee ☕ and start visualizing exactly how I wanted the workshop to feel, what participants would leave with, and what would make it different.
Your turn: What’s one action you could start today that would make progress on your own goal?
The Two Futures
When I imagined taking that action - and then another, and another - I could see a year from now where I’d delivered those workshops, reached new audiences, and grown my confidence in the process.
When I imagined doing nothing? The year looked almost exactly the same as today.
Ask yourself: Which version would you rather be living at the end of the year?
Why This Reflection Works - And How to Go Further
That 20-minute coffee break didn’t magically book me speaking gigs. But it did give me a clear starting point - and the energy to act on it.
That’s the power of peeling back the layers: you stop fighting shadows and start working on the thing that actually matters.
You can do this reflection on your own - and I encourage you to - but in my workshops and coaching sessions, we often uncover layers you didn’t even realize were there. You leave with momentum you didn’t think was possible.
The Power of Reflection, Perspective, and Self-Leadership
Reflection gives you clarity 💡.
Perspective gives you choice.
Self-leadership turns that choice into momentum.
Your goal isn’t as far away as it seems - the next layer you peel back might be the one that unlocks it 🔑.
Stay Connected and Keep Moving Forward
If you’d like to keep reflecting, learning, and taking action, here are three ways we can stay in touch:
🌱 Easiest option: Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for coaching-based tips and prompts to help you keep moving forward.
🎯 A little more involved: Attend an upcoming event and experience a Coaching-Infused Conversation live.
💬 Most intensive: Schedule a call with me to explore how I can help you (or your team) peel back the layers and move toward your goals.
I’m Christelle Soto-Suarez, Self-Leadership Awakener and Executive & Leadership Coach helping mid-level professionals take small but meaningful steps toward a career and life they truly want. Learn more at Pistachio-Cassis Coaching.
