May 28, 2025 - What My Own “FAIL” Taught Me

What My Own “FAIL” Taught Me

(and the One Small Step I Took to Move Forward)

A few days ago, I shared an article titled:

“FAIL”… as in Failure, or as in First Attempt In Learning? A Guided Conversation That Shifted Perspectives

It recapped a Coaching-Infused Conversation I facilitated with a small circle of professional women. This wasn’t a typical workshop - it was a space for reflection, honesty, and small but meaningful progress.

And to open the conversation, I didn’t start with theory. I started with my own experience of failure!

When My LinkedIn Live Didn’t Go Live…

I had planned my very first LinkedIn Live. The topic was ready, my notes were prepped, and my calendar was blocked off. I felt excited, but, if I’m honest, also nervous!!!

Because this wasn’t just a task. It was a big visibility step. A chance to show what I do and how I think. And I felt this pressure (the same pressure so many of my clients feel) to get it right the first time! To prove I could handle it! To perform!

Then, just a few hours before the session, I realized I hadn’t set up the streaming platform.

No tech. No way to go live. No quick fix.

I had to cancel!!!

In that moment, it felt like everything crumbled.

I wasn’t just frustrated. I was ashamed.

“How did I miss this?”

“You should’ve figured this out sooner.”

“Maybe you’re not ready for this kind of visibility.”

That voice in my head? I know it well.

It’s the one that showed up early in my career too - especially in rooms where I was the only woman, or the quiet one, or the one who felt like she had to work twice as hard to prove her worth…

The Power of One Question

In the session, I asked a question I often pose to clients:

“What if this happened to your best friend, or someone you’re mentoring? What would you say to them?”

It’s simple. But powerful. Because it invites compassion…

Here’s what I realized I’d say:

– “You caught the issue in time and gave notice. That’s responsible.”

– “It’s your first attempt. This is how you learn.”

– “You were ready to show up. That’s already brave.”

And yes, I needed to hear those words too!!!

Then I asked the group (and myself):

“What would you want that person to feel after hearing your support?”

The answers: Encouraged. Seen. Still capable. Not defined by the mistake.

So I followed with the most important part:

“How could you say those same things to yourself next time something doesn’t go as planned?”

We explored real ways to do this: writing reminders, journaling, imagining a trusted voice in our head when things go wrong. It wasn’t about sugar-coating. It was about shifting from shame to perspective.

My One Small Step

To model what I ask others to do, I chose a small action: I took a quiet coffee break and searched for quotes about failure.

This one stuck with me:

“Failure is essentially a free education. How cool is that?” — Sophia Amoruso

It made me smile. It reminded me that growth isn’t always graceful… and that even a cancelled LinkedIn Live can be part of building confidence!

What’s Next for You?

What about you? What “fail” are you carrying?

And what would change if you spoke to yourself like you speak to a friend?

What would it feel like to treat that moment not as the end, but as your First Attempt In Learning?

Curious to experience a conversation like this for yourself?

About Christelle

I’m Christelle Soto-Suarez, founder of Pistachio-Cassis Coaching and a Self-Leadership Awakener.

My mission is to inspire, support and empower middle managers who feel stuck or unseen in their careers, and to help them take small but meaningful steps toward that “better life/career” they dream of, without the overwhelm.